My Salvation, Your Condemnation: Sodom and Gomorrah

And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked? Genesis 18:23

The book of Genesis is like a soap opera. If you can dig down deep and just make it past the genealogies, you would be amazed at how captivating this book is. Drama, drama, and more drama! For example, to name a few, you have Adam and Eve, you have Noah and his sons laughing at his nakedness, you have daughters trying to get pregnant by their father, and you even have Moses killing an Egyptian. But right up there, with the most talked about stories in the great book of Genesis is the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. However, most of the discourse surrounding this particular story is almost never about the lesson God intended us to learn, instead it is one of the Scriptures used to promote the belief that the LGBTQ community will be eradicated.

Honestly, this makes me laugh and pray. The idea that people believe that Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed for gay activity and gay activity alone, is hilarious and scary at the same time. If you are a member of the LGBTQ community, just like me, and someone uses this Scripture to show you the error of your lifestyle, I charge you to laugh at them modestly and then pray for their mercy, relentlessly. Afterwards, share the Good News that I shall propose for you in this testimony, if you will.

Speaking in layman’s terms, Sodom and Gomorrah was your inner-city ghetto. But, it was the roughest inner-city ghetto, the worst, the most desperate inner-city ghetto in the land. It was a dangerous, unsafe, and rotten place. The worst of the worst lived in Sodom and Gomorrah, God was disgusted and moved to destroy it. But, to one of the patriarchs of Scripture, establishing himself as such in Genesis, the plan was revealed. Even though he knew he was only a lowly servant of God, not worthy to even think he can ask, he was compelled. He wanted to know, if there were any righteous people in Sodom and Gomorrah, were they going to be destroyed along with the transgressors for their transgressions?

God must have thought it was a good question, so he sent some angels to the house of one of his servants. As dusk was falling, the person’s house whom they were sent told them to get inside. They could stay there for the night. He hosted them. They could wash their hands and feet and he baked them some bread which was a staple on the dinner table during these times. He offered all of this, along with a place for them to sleep and told them they could leave early. I hate to throw my two cents in, but I can guarantee you, he just wanted these visitors off the streets before night fell.

They entered the house and before long there came a knock at the door. The head of the household went to the door. It turned out to be the neighborhood goons wanting to know who the men were that visited him that evening. They demanded he bring the men out so they could know them. In those days, to know, meant to have sex with. This was so unacceptable to the head of the household, with whom these visitors from another place were receiving shelter, he stepped out of the door, closing it behind him and looked at them like they were crazy. Begging them to not press their wicked agenda, he offered his virgin daughters to them to do as they saw fit.

Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof. Genesis 19:8

“… for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.” In plain English, this man is saying, “… because they are visitors under MY roof.” The man did not say, “… because that is gay and I don’t tolerate that.” He didn’t say, “Do nothing to these men because gay acts send you to hell.” He said nothing, absolutely nothing about being gay, gay acts, being destroyed for being gay, or even, “It’s not right to rape another man.” He didn’t even say anything about the fact the men were rapists. Seems to me like he didn’t care what the men wanted to do as long as it wasn’t happening on his watch.

Here’s a judicial example of what law is at play here, in case you still haven’t fully gotten my point; the same point this Scripture is trying to convey: Someone comes to your house and they ask to use the bathroom. The bathroom is upstairs. Your banister is rickety, unsupported, needing repair or much worst, needing to be replaced. As they are coming down the stairs, the banister gives way and as a result, they fall, breaking their ankle. You are liable for their medical expenses. If someone gets hurt in your house, by law, they can sue and yes, you will be responsible for their medical bills.

I once went to a friend’s house. This was back in the day when the two-way pagers were out. One of my friend’s friend stole my two-way pager. Needless to say, we were no longer friends. I was able to see where her loyalty lied because she didn’t make her friend return it, nor did she offer to reimburse me. In another example, just this past weekend, some of my partner’s friends came into the city. To save money, they stayed at another friend’s house. Their hostess didn’t have a comforter, nor a pillow for either of them. They were cold and expressed an overall feeling of vulnerability.

The hostess in this story, who was saved from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah was saved for this very act of hospitality. As I mentioned, God sent angels to one of his servants house to see if his servant was a righteous man. His righteousness was displayed through his moral obligation to be hospitable. The man’s point was, he was not going to allow any wickedness to come to his visitors because he was in charge of their safety for the time they were to be staying at his house. If anything happened to them, their blood would be on his hands. This story, this lesson has absolutely nothing to do with being gay. It has to do with hospitality. This man was willing to give up his virgin daughters and he was even willing to die. When he told the men that he was not going to bring his visitors out, they got irate. They were demanding and aggressive. The man of the house didn’t back down. He was going to protect the visitors in his house at all costs.

People can flip this story anyway they like. At the end of the day, they will have to answer to God. But, for my friends of the LGBTQ community, the next time someone talks about the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah and its relation to gay people and gay acts, simply shake your head no as if you were talking to a toddler that thought they understood something but they’ve gotten it all wrong. After you explain the story, as it was meant to be told, through our moral obligation to be hospitable, remind them too that during those day, there was no such thing as gay. Well, maybe there was a such thing as gay, but these men at the door may not have been gay! This is a very important addition to the story.

The Bible and Scripture means so much more when you understand the context in which a story is told. Society is brand-spanking new. These guys, hearing that there were new people in town, wanted to show the visitors who the heavy hitters were in the neighborhood. They wanted to control them, they wanted to be in charge, and they wanted them to be afraid of them as this was the nature of life in Sodom and Gomorrah. No different than today’s thug, except for socially we have evolved and we don’t have to rape the new kids on the block, we just ostracize them until they become one of us. Didn’t you see this behavior the first day of school or the first day at a job? There is always one person, or a group of people who feel good about making the new kid on the block very uncomfortable. They have no qualms about humiliating the new kid on the block. The new kid on the block is often the joke, ignored, and mistreated. Well, long before we became what we are today, the principles were still there, however, it was in the hands of a primitive society and in the worst part of town, men went so far as to rape other men to drive that humiliation home! These men may not have been gay. They were using rape as a means to keep control. It was a job. The enjoyment they got was more emotional that physical pleasure. The physical pleasure was probably a bonus. Their main agenda was the very same agenda there is today for jerks when a new kid is in their midst. They want to do whatever they can to make them uncomfortable.

The Degradation – Part 1

“When the special feeling is gone, it’s over.” She didn’t get it. I could tell by her response. “For you, maybe.” I laughed, but she wasn’t playing. “Babe? Your special feeling is gone! It is over for you!” She looked very confused, so I said, “Oh, I’m just supposed to sit around my girlfriend who doesn’t have the special feeling for me? I can feel it!” Then with a tisk and a disgusted look on my face I finished with, “I can’t live like that!”

Seriously, y’all, I can’t! I could understand if I was some kind of dog that has been dogging her out for the 3 years we’ve been together, but the mistakes that I am being charged with would have only helped us, not hurt us. Her first defense is probably her best defense: “I told you in the beginning that I might need some more time.” This idea, I have a hard time getting around, but, at the end of the day, I do. I knew she was in an effed up situation when we met. She’d been taken advantage of by an older woman who preyed on women like her. My respect for the fact that she didn’t have a moment to herself is a huge part of the reason I am as complacent as I have been with her. It’s why I haven’t built any friendships outside of the people I work with. It’s why I’ve always tried to listen and communicate with her as effectively as I could no matter how dumb the issue was that she was flipping, and I mean flipping, out about. Every waking moment, I’ve showed her that she has nothing to worry about with me loving her. She could confidently go out into the world knowing that I am completely smitten by her and only her.

Today I found out that it was me getting a second job that was the beginning of our breakdown. I shouldn’t have taken time away from our relationship. I remember the breakdown being the second job, but not how she remembers it. Her story is that we didn’t need the money and I was trying to match her income. My story is, when I got the second job, even though I explained the strain it was going to put on our relationship, that we were going to come out on top. The second job fulfilled a lot of things for me personally and that alone does wonders for a relationship, but when you add in the extra income …. We were planning on going back to school and I really wanted us to have a cushion because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to work as much and if I or we didn’t want to work too hard, we wouldn’t have to. All I wanted for us was a cushion so we could really be on the road to being the power couple I saw us being … All of the elements were there. However, I wound up leaving that year with a lot of resentments. The weekends were the only time I had to really sleep good. Before I got the lap top and her addiction to Facebook began drilling the relationship into the ground, I’d wake up to tension. How could I fall asleep knowing this was the only time we had to spend with one another? Maybe because when I come home I have to go to the store, get our food and our weed. And if that isn’t enough, we have to take turns rolling. I just imagined who cares about one year of working hard for our future if we together are in it for the long haul? She never got it. This actually goes right into the next part of how she has managed to not take responsibility for the degradation of this relationship as I like to call it.

So one day, while at work, I told her on my break that I needed to talk to her. I explained to her that I needed a little more support, because the schedule I work is straining. Everyday, for 7 days, I was up at 3:50am and with the exception of the weekend, I wouldn’t get home until 8. The weekends she was off and everyday she got home before me, why would she want to watch me come home and do anything? She would always talk to me about some people and what they do in relationships, but there is no way that someone comes home and waits for the other person to come home so they can do house stuff and prepare the evening and the person’s physical work day is longer. She worked a 9-5, 5 days a week. I worked 5am-7:30pm, Mon-Fri and the weekends I worked 5:30a-2p. It was at this moment, I’m about 4 months into the 2nd job, she tells me she needs romance. I should have seen what I was dealing with then!

Eff that B: The Negativity is Packing

My most recent Facebook post reads: Things for me are about to get a whole lot better! I am removing the negativity that’s been making me sick for the past 4-5 months. The negativity is packing as I post.

Thirty-two minutes ago, I verbalized the change that is about to take place. Is this easy? No! Will the next couple of weeks feel foreign? Most definitely. Does the unfamiliar feeling of being alone promise to take its toll on me? Without a doubt! But, what gives a move power is the amount of effort that has to be or is put into making it powerful; hence the term, power move.

This morning, at the diner, over breakfast my head pulled me into itself, while sitting across from her. Despite how beautiful she is, the sight of her and our closeness in proximity made my skin crawl with resentment, disappointment, and downright disgust. I found myself wondering why she hasn’t spoken to this mysterious friend that she speaks to every single weekend for hours at a time and little by little, my stomach found its way into the game. Finally, I have a weekend off and they have yet to speak. She doesn’t and hasn’t for the entire time they’ve been friends spoken to her when I am home. When I am at work, the only place I go, they can’t seem to get enough of one another. This has been going on for at least 4 months.

“You know, if there are things that you can’t do while I am around, then what is the point?” As usual, she has no idea what I am talking about. “You know, your friend. Y’all haven’t spoken yet, today. I mean every single weekend, you guys are on the phone for hours. What is she busy today?” She stopped looking at me and this was her response, “I guess so,” with a half mumble half whisper.

I beckoned the server for the check, I paid and tipped her nicely because I’d been short and brisk with her the whole time there. I grabbed my iPad and my headphones and as briskly as I’d treated the server, I briskly walked out of the establishment leaving a delicious and full plate of breakfast on the table. I had no appetite. She continued, nonchalantly, with the careful arrangement of her doggie bag.

When I got home, I kindly separated our laundry. When she got in, she quietly followed suit, separating our belongings in the bedroom. She lost that special feeling for me a long time ago, but, because I am strong and have respect, because I understand, my special feeling remained in tack, along with my help and attributes and capacity to love deeply. My special feeling has been chipped at over the past year and even though, I’ve been working diligently and over-time to keep those precious feelings that I develop for the women I make love to and have a relationship with, today that feeling is gone.

Our home made a powerful transition. Everything is physically divided with the same measure of division that I’ve been feeling for close to half a year. Now the division is in our face. All she needs is a truck and our home will be my home and my life with her will be done. What a transition to bear for the lover, Me! But, aside from feeling sick to my stomach, I get to walk away blameless, doing bad for my own self as the saying goes. I know, for me, things will get better. I am fine with knowing that they may, more than likely they will get worse before that. I know distraction is the key to a relationship, so I’m making plans for this evening. I want to go to the next level on my gauges and then I want to drink and party. Do you have any advice? For 3 years I’ve been securing her and haven’t built so much as a friend here in this city … My post, The Motions may give you an understanding of how I am feeling ….

Two Screwdrivers

I’m not sure how long I was napping, but when I woke up, it was a little after 10pm. My girlfriend, she was showered, a blunt was rolled and she was quiet. Me? I was disoriented and still in my uniform. My eyes burned as I peeled off my uniform and got in bed, but her quietness made me uneasy, so my brain began to come to life.

We smoked and watched the news. Despite the tension, I still wanted to reach out and touch her, but each time I did, she didn’t respond. I might as well had a mannequin in bed with me. Eventually, I turned around, my back towards her for easy access to the ashtray and my Arizona Sweet Iced Tea. She kept her space, didn’t touch me or offer a kiss goodnight, and went to sleep.

In the middle of the week, I told her how miserable my position in this relationship was becoming.

Not so much as a soft look or a touch in bed was a reminder of how far we’ve come from the days we were both insatiable and couldn’t get enough of each other. After a while, she was probably in her 3rd dream, I turned back around facing her and I noticed something lit on her side of the bed. When I looked she was charging the Ledo and her phone was out and exposed right next to it. I knew she must be tired because I haven’t seen her and her phone that vulnerable in close to a year.

As much as I thought about going through her phone, I decided to grab the Ledo. I quietly rubbed one out and got up. I got dressed and went to the neighborhood bar.

I had 2 Screwdrivers with my vodka of choice, Kettle One. The usual bartender was there, but I was served by a guy I’d never seen before. I was happy the usual bartender was there, for she could vouch I was in there alone, minding my business watching the flat screen tvs.

When I got back, despite all of the noise I’d made leaving and all of the noise I made coming in, she slept on. I got undressed, I rolled another blunt, and I got in bed. I smoked and thought, my 2 favorite pastimes. I decided that I am getting out from now on whenever I have an opportunity. This “girlfriend” makes me sick and disappointed and I’m sure we are merely biding our time.

Mariah Carey is an Aries Too!

Inspiration: Mariah Carey’s rendition of “I Wanna Know What Love Is”, from her Memoirs of an Angel album.

I used to listen to Chrisette Michelle’s, “Blame it on Me” when shit first started hitting the fan, but indeed, once I realized I’d been humbled by love, I started playing, “I Wanna Know What Love Is”, by Mariah (which by the way, I am blasting on repeat directly into my ear as I post).

This whole situation that is unfolding between me and my girlfriend of three years is really taking my breath away. Actually, the breath-taking-ness of it all is a pleasure because I’d rather die than be driven mad for dysfunction and flat-out dumb shit! In all honesty, I’d rather lose my breath than my mind, sanity, confidence, and self-worth. Why? Well, those things are key players in the orchestrated composition of who I am. Love, though, has the tendency to put you in the most compromising situations when it comes to protecting those key players and the song, the inspiration for this post, reminds me of that.

The title alone is a natural and human statement. Across the world, I guarantee 77.3% of the human race really, from the depths of their soul wants to know what love is and as far as the percentage is concerned, I’ll bet I am being modest. Some people are in love and still want to know what love is and the reasons are limitless and relative. The relativity isn’t just any old relativity when it stands next to limitless reasons: Inside the soul of someone who wants to know what love is different relatives may coexist. For example, someone who comes from a good loving family may know what love is on that level and find that they fail when it comes to loving a friend, a lover, an item, and/or God if they desire and vice versa. Also, being that we are all on different paths, the reason someone would be wondering what love is different for each individual no matter how similar a story or empathetic you are.

If you have ever had the pleasure of knowing and hanging around an Aries for an extended period of time, you know that they ARE DYING … Better yet, WE ARE DYING TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS! And you can hear it in Mariah’s voice. When an artist has the opportunity to do a song that is the epitome of who they are, you can’t help but want to cry. Well, that’s what happens to me, at least. Maybe I’ll take some responsibility – I am extra emotional with this song because of the circumstances surrounding my relationship, plus, I am an Aries and have been dying to know what love is – perhaps that is what the tears are for when I hear this song. With this song on repeat, I could just look at my girlfriend and cry. I genuinely can’t believe that this is what it has turned into. And 3 years ago, when I thought I was coming to the conclusion of my dissertation on what love is with her in my life, I realize once again that not only do I not know anything about love, but I didn’t even exercise any of the things I’d already learned.

When an Aries loves, boy oh boy! Do you know anything about that? I’m really asking! What is your take. Have I mentioned that my girlfriend is an Aries too? I promise, she is going to be last Aries that I ever date! When her and I first got together, I mentioned to her that Aries and I don’t really get along and to this day when I remind her of that, she gets argumentative and offended. I can’t deny, though, when an Aries loves you, there isn’t a doubt in your mind. If by chance there is, you should ask questions about themselves which is perhaps our favorite subject.

In my life, there has been heartache and pain. I don’t know if I could face it again. I can’t stop now, I’ve traveled so far, to change this lonely life. GOTCHA! I didn’t write that! Those are words to the song, but they ring true in the sourest way. What really gets my tears flowing is the fact that those lyrics are fucking true, but I’m willing to try it again with the nerve, guts, strength and down-right balls to still trust myself to want someone to show me. That really breaks my heart for my own damned heart. That is what the song is saying. I want to know what love is and I want you to show me. I want to feel what love is and I know you can show me.

It’s Getting Old!

There is no point in looking forward to seeing my girlfriend. I could have and should have learned this lesson about a year and a half ago, but I can’t get enough of giving people the benefit of the doubt no matter how many times my feelings have been hurt by them.

So for this reason, I am now sitting here stewing in my own stupidity for being surprised, once again, by her normal erratic behavior. Another day of anxiously awaiting her arrival, all for her to come in with a nasty-assed attitude for something completely beyond my control, that she actually didn’t even need my help with:

As usual, my phone was on silent. At 4:53pm I looked over and my phone was ringing. It was my friend Sam, so I answered. Sam and I stayed on the phone for close to an hour and when I hung up, I noticed that I had received some text messages. I checked my messages and all of them were from my girlfriend. It was after 5:30pm and I knew that she would be walking in the door soon. Being that I don’t get reception in my apartment, I had to go outside to call her. Before I called her, though, because of the time that it was, I decided to first make the bed.

The minute she answered the phone, I heard frustration in her voice. I figured she wasn’t able to cash the check that she got, which they gave her a day in advance. Before I could even get the question out about whether or not she was frustrated, she’s telling me that she is frustrated because she had been trying to call me. She needed me to tell her where the closest check cashing spot was.

I was so upset, right at that moment, because as usual she HAS to make something my fault. One of my hugest issues with her is the fact that she has yet to take any responsibility for the degradation of this relationship that was once so promising. I simply said, “Okay, I’m sorry to hear that and I’ll see you when you get home.” She didn’t give me the benefit of the doubt at all. If she did her first question would have been, “Babe? Did you see me calling you?” Or she could have made a statement, like, “I called you mad times!” First of all, we are going to act like I’ve never called her and got no answer and her response to me giving her the benefit of the doubt was, “The phone only rang once,” or “I don’t have any missed calls from you, Babe.” We are going to act like that never, ever happened before on her end. I should have gotten the benefit of the doubt automatically because if she knows nothing else, she knows that my phone stays on silent! So the attitude was XTRA like her nickname on Facebook. Me missing her calls isn’t brand new at all. The gap between the time she called and the time I called her back may have been a little longer, but with a little thinking – what I’ve asked her to do more of on more than one occasion – she would have realized that if she was going to be frustrated, the frustration would have been for the situation we are facing with her not being able to cash her check at which point we could be together in the frustration like a team, like how 2 people who are facing the same circumstances in the same situation are supposed to be. I’ve been talking to this girl about turning me into the enemy or someone who isn’t on her team as long as I’ve been talking to her about her attitude. I’ve been talking to her about being a team player, explaining to her that the same support she has for her FB Fam and her new “friend” that she has been talking to for the past few months excessively isn’t supposed to shine through more than the support she is giving at home.

Just today we were texting. She was saying that she wanted me to make love to her tonight and that she really wanted some last night. My response was that I really wanted some last night but dealing with how she perceives things and her mood swings is frustrating, tired, and tiring. She responded that is how she gets from lack of sex. I said call it what you want, but it’s getting old! First of all, the mood swings and how she perceives things is worst than immature, it’s primitive and barbaric. Her mood swings and how she uses perception to not take responsibility for her actions and ways is the one oldest and most immaturest games in the book. Her attitude disappointed me and was just another example of how she has yet to do anything that I have asked. The lack of respect comes from the fact that just today, I put into clear words that her mood swings and perceptions were completely out of wack and annoying, so for her to come in in the manner that she did was a total slap in the face.

By the 4th paragraph of this text, she looks up from FB and asks, “Can I talk to you?” My response was, “I don’t know, can you?” Seriously, I can’t even answer that question, without being an ass about it because the fact of the matter is NO YOU CAN’T because I am not your Facebook friend, I’m not this lady that you’ve taken to whom you find so interesting who compliments her, has a pet name for her yet has no idea who or how you really are, there is nothing virtual about me and last but not least, I am the same age as her. She gets along with any and everything virtual and the young 20s crowd and low-life aggressive women that have nice voices who have absolutely nothing to offer her so she could feel better about herself because they appreciate the fact that she will coddle and support them and is always available especially if I am not around and they grow to need her and meanwhile she is addicted to someone needing her so it works out perfectly for her in all of those relationships.

“I DON’T KNOW, CAN YOU? Can you talk to me like I am someone to respect?
*dropping the mike and walking into the crowd*.

The Motions

A tragedy: Loving someone with all of your heart and soul, unconditionally, and deeply, and then realizing you have no clue who this person is or what they stand for. Realizing that during the times they were telling you that they were unhappy they weren’t but instead were purposely manipulating your heart and essence. Realizing that they are the happiest when times are the hardest because they love to see you sweat and be unsure. The day you realize that you have nothing left to hold onto, yet, the anger inside from being duped keeps you complacent. Realizing the person you were building a future with is someone who isn’t there for support but only along for a/the ride and you know what’s worse, they insist on driving the most. How about the day you realize, in hindsight, that you have been carrying bags from that day to this with no real help from anyone except God who allowed you to do so gracefully!! How about stopping your life to make sure someone else feels secure only to find they were never insecure to begin with they just need a sick amount of attention and would stop at nothing to get it. How about pegging someone as genuine and honest, caring and sincere only to realize that it isn’t about you or anyone else for that matter, but for them and their own personal edifications. The day you realize the person you love makes you sick to your stomach. The day you realize the sight of them makes you weak with aggravation and disgust for the different things they have done and different ideas they have had and also for their ways. When you can smell the lack of respect. Realizing that they have done absolutely nothing and all of the something’s that they have done cost you your dignity, self confidence, and security. What about the day you know it isn’t going to work. What about the day you don’t want to be any more for this person and are angry that you’ve already been more than enough for someone who couldn’t care less if they tried.

An epiphany: The day you realize that you love someone, but remember that you love yourself too no matter how much you’ve dealt with. Realizing that you are only as stupid as you want to be. Understanding that you have done more than enough and deserve better treatment. Remembering God and his only begotten Son, that they have yet to let you down and you have always been taken care of. Recognizing unhappiness setting in and then realizing that it’s because of the person you’ve been loving dearly. Realizing that you will be happy again once you remove the negativity and confusion out of your heart. Understanding that you may be sad for a little while, but things will get better and in your experience, they always get better. Looking back in hindsight and knowing going forward that you will be vindicated. When you realize the person you’ve been loving has a secret agenda that has nothing to do with you.

Going through the motions is for the most part relative to each individual. If you want to share what it is like for you when you are about to quit a relationship, you have my undivided attention and full appreciation!

Ordinary People

John Legend sang it in a song, “We’re just ordinary people, we don’t know which way to go/’Cause we’re ordinary people, maybe we should take it slow.

And if you’ve never heard the song, it was a neo-soulish jam, early in the 2000s.  Amazing, amazing song.  No, seriously.  I was in my early 20s when it came out and I remember, once I got past the beautiful melody of his piano marrying his words and realized the significance of the song that I was singing, I almost lost my natural mind.  As a matter of fact, looking back on it, I truly believe I was too young to have received that message.

When I finally understood what I was singing in singing the song, I cried, because already, in my early 20s I’d experienced exactly what was being sang.  However, I never thought the answer was so damned simple:

“We’re just ordinary people, we don’t know which way to go…”

And in its simplicity, it breaks my heart.

Wait!! My mom, Nana, aunt Donna, Mrs. Lewis, everyone and meeeee too??

I listened to that song for months and for months, in response, I observed behaviors to the best of my ability and it became a habit.

I am always observing with the hopes that one day the song won’t be as true to me as it is.  If not a decade, approaching a decade later, to my dismay the song has only gotten truer.

This song, though I do not appreciate what it is saying, I have to admit – once I understood what was being said, it grew me up instantly and nowadays, years and years later, it makes me feel better when I am confused about someones behaviors that are directly affecting me.

To this day, I still make the mistake of giving people too much credit and since I am included in the song, I’ll add that I also make the mistakes of expecting too much out of myself and being too hard on myself.

“We’re just ordinary people, we don’t know which way to go/’Cause we’re ordinary people, maybe we should take it slow.

Though, this song can act as a key or the key to unlocking a better internal emotional environment, this song is and forever will be an insult.  I just wish more people would be mindful of what this song is saying.  And by being mindful, when looking and dealing with the ordinariness around you, don’t forget to recognize the ordinariness inside of your own self.