Inspiration: Mariah Carey’s rendition of “I Wanna Know What Love Is”, from her Memoirs of an Angel album.

I used to listen to Chrisette Michelle’s, “Blame it on Me” when shit first started hitting the fan, but indeed, once I realized I’d been humbled by love, I started playing, “I Wanna Know What Love Is”, by Mariah (which by the way, I am blasting on repeat directly into my ear as I post).

This whole situation that is unfolding between me and my girlfriend of three years is really taking my breath away. Actually, the breath-taking-ness of it all is a pleasure because I’d rather die than be driven mad for dysfunction and flat-out dumb shit! In all honesty, I’d rather lose my breath than my mind, sanity, confidence, and self-worth. Why? Well, those things are key players in the orchestrated composition of who I am. Love, though, has the tendency to put you in the most compromising situations when it comes to protecting those key players and the song, the inspiration for this post, reminds me of that.

The title alone is a natural and human statement. Across the world, I guarantee 77.3% of the human race really, from the depths of their soul wants to know what love is and as far as the percentage is concerned, I’ll bet I am being modest. Some people are in love and still want to know what love is and the reasons are limitless and relative. The relativity isn’t just any old relativity when it stands next to limitless reasons: Inside the soul of someone who wants to know what love is different relatives may coexist. For example, someone who comes from a good loving family may know what love is on that level and find that they fail when it comes to loving a friend, a lover, an item, and/or God if they desire and vice versa. Also, being that we are all on different paths, the reason someone would be wondering what love is different for each individual no matter how similar a story or empathetic you are.

If you have ever had the pleasure of knowing and hanging around an Aries for an extended period of time, you know that they ARE DYING … Better yet, WE ARE DYING TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS! And you can hear it in Mariah’s voice. When an artist has the opportunity to do a song that is the epitome of who they are, you can’t help but want to cry. Well, that’s what happens to me, at least. Maybe I’ll take some responsibility – I am extra emotional with this song because of the circumstances surrounding my relationship, plus, I am an Aries and have been dying to know what love is – perhaps that is what the tears are for when I hear this song. With this song on repeat, I could just look at my girlfriend and cry. I genuinely can’t believe that this is what it has turned into. And 3 years ago, when I thought I was coming to the conclusion of my dissertation on what love is with her in my life, I realize once again that not only do I not know anything about love, but I didn’t even exercise any of the things I’d already learned.

When an Aries loves, boy oh boy! Do you know anything about that? I’m really asking! What is your take. Have I mentioned that my girlfriend is an Aries too? I promise, she is going to be last Aries that I ever date! When her and I first got together, I mentioned to her that Aries and I don’t really get along and to this day when I remind her of that, she gets argumentative and offended. I can’t deny, though, when an Aries loves you, there isn’t a doubt in your mind. If by chance there is, you should ask questions about themselves which is perhaps our favorite subject.

In my life, there has been heartache and pain. I don’t know if I could face it again. I can’t stop now, I’ve traveled so far, to change this lonely life. GOTCHA! I didn’t write that! Those are words to the song, but they ring true in the sourest way. What really gets my tears flowing is the fact that those lyrics are fucking true, but I’m willing to try it again with the nerve, guts, strength and down-right balls to still trust myself to want someone to show me. That really breaks my heart for my own damned heart. That is what the song is saying. I want to know what love is and I want you to show me. I want to feel what love is and I know you can show me.