Yesterday, I told my mom that I gained a new follower. As usual, I was smiling from ear to ear. When I get a new follower or I check my stats and see that 5 people read my post the day before, or when someone likes what they’ve read, it is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

I have longed to write. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve kept journals all of my life, but I’ve always wanted to do the kind of writing that I could share with others. Also, I wanted a platform, on which to write. But, it really wasn’t that cut and dry. I was about 14 when I first heard about online journals. That was 17 years ago.

I don’t know any writers. I would like to think I am a writer, I act as though I am a writer, but I have far too much respect for authors and I humbly settle for – I have the great potential. However, I truly believe that writing is scary. It terrifies me. Keeping a journal is and has been a walk in the park. Sharing your writing with others, though, is a whole ‘nutha game. For as long as I’ve wanted to write, at 14 you would think I would have started my online journal, now popularly known as a blog. But, the thought alone was too overwhelming. What would I write about? Is that important? Who’s going to read it? Are they going to read it? When it came to writing, at this age, my confidence and strength just wasn’t there.

As an adult, though, your paradigm begins to shift and you grow defenses. Being able to protect your own self is liberating and refreshing and, finally, here I am. And sure, it’s been 17 years, but, allowing others to read what I’ve written has been the greatest challenge. It’s still very challenging. After each post, thus far, the moment I am about to click “Publish” a pang of anxiety signals through my gut.

After she smiled and said, “Oh, wow, that’s good!” She said, “Did you thank them?”

My hands got sweaty because my nerves started itching. I thought about all of the times I’d followed someone and they thanked me in return – how good and connected I felt, how I felt like I mattered, and that my attendance was important to them. I thought about how ridiculously excited I am when I know people are reading, following, and/or liking. And I realized that I hadn’t been playing fair.

Please forgive me! Because, from the bottom of my heart, I am soooooo thankful for readers and followers! And as much as I hate using “sooooo” in my writing, I needed extra emphasis to display just how thankful I am!

A ka-zillion thanks is all I can muster out! Unless of course you all want a book on why this all means so much to me. Trust me, I am sparing you all! But honestly, since I’ve started this blog, you all have been quietly keeping me going. I love to write, so for that alone, you all mean the world to me! Thanks again for following and reading!